Finding Your Strength Again

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, gains and losses, victories and defeats. So many times, we long for an “even keel”… to find a place of normality, calm, and even strength. Unfortunately, life has a way of interrupting this and forcing things to be sporadic. And in these places we find ourselves weak, and needing to find our strength again. The funny thing about losing your strength is that it always seems to happen when we need it most.

At one time I was strong. I was at the top of my game, pastoring a growing and thriving church. Attendance had grown close to 1000% during my time there, and the financial giving and time commitment of volunteers reflected that. I was also leading a Bible college, influencing students from around the world to make a difference with their lives. I was speaking here and there, right across North America, and truly felt I was making a difference in the world around me.

And I was. I was helping people, contributing to personal wholeness, life improvement, financial well-being, marital stability, family relationships, and seeing people realize their dreams and potential. I was also reproducing this into others. But then my personal crash came.

Personal issues I had not dealt with, which impacted every other relationship around me, finally began to rear their ugly head. I had tried and tried and tried, to work through the issues on my own, but as I successively failed things got worse and worse. I couldn’t brush it under the carpet anymore. I lost my strength… and with it, almost everything else.

Losing your strength is an appalling thing. There is a huge sense of… well, loss. You had something: strength, which was your fuel and energy and motivation and drive. Without it, you are weak. Absent strength, you are strength-less, faith-less, and it seems hope-less. You feel like nothing. And the very thing that used to attract people and resources to you is gone… so you are very, very alone, without resource or provision.

Maybe, just maybe, God lets us lose our strength for a reason. It seems this way when you read 2 Corinthians 12…
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. 10 Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

There it is… God’s power works best in my weakness. When I am weak, He has the chance to be strong in me. So, I can be quite content with my weakness… because it is an opportunity for His strength to shine through.

So, having said that, and allowing for His strength to come through in our weakness, how can we find our strength again?

Look Inside - See Who & What Is Within! I had a revelation, a bit of an “aha moment” the other day. The eye opening truth that came to me was that I am a prince, royalty, the finest creation has to offer. I am glad to say that this is not an exclusive role… in other words, so are you and so is every other person on this planet! We are royalty, we are princes and princesses, kings and queens, born for the best that this world has to offer. The seed of greatness is in me… and for sure, it is in you… Take a look inside!

Look Outside - See Who Is Around You! You need to see yourself as surrounded by people who care, people who will give you strength and support and nourishment. Sometimes, we feel as though there are none, but I believe, if we look for it, God has placed all around us people who are there for us to help and lend us a hand. As the song says, “I get by with a little help from my friends”. None of us were designed to walk alone, carry on alone, struggle alone. The seed of help and support is around me… Take a look outside!

Look Behind - See What You’ve Come Through! Every one of us have come through very difficult and trying times at some point in our past. Each of these times of stress and anxiety have prepared us for what we are facing today. The promise of God is that He will never let us face more than we can handle (I Corinthians 10:13). But sometimes we may feel like Mother Theresa, who said this: “I know God will never give me more than I can handle…I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!” Draw strength from your past and all you have come through. The seeds to get through today are found in what you came through yesterday!.. Take a look behind!

Look Ahead - See Where You’re Going! Sometimes when we lose our strength we also lose sight of the prize: our goals and dreams and vision. We need to step back for a moment and remind ourselves of our dreams, our goals and visions and hopes and aspirations. Never give up and never let those dreams and aspirations fade… Take a look ahead!

Look Below - See The Journey! Sometimes when we lose our strength, we also lose sight of the fact that wherever we are going, it is going to be a journey. It is going to take time, putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Nothing is instant. There is no “drive-thru” or “microwave instant meals” in life. Gear up for a long journey…a marathon as opposed to a sprint… Take a look below!

Look Above - See Who Is With You! There is One who will never leave you, never forsake you, never fail you. There is One who cares when others don’t, who walks in when others walk out, who has open arms when others have closed fists. God Himself with never leave you, nor abandon you, like others may have – Psalm 23; Hebrews 13:5-6. You know this already… Take a look inside!

Stop Looking! Maybe part of the problem is us always wanting and needing to be strong. Maybe we should talk the endless quest to always feel strong, and embrace weakness. Maybe, like Paul in 2 Corinthians 12, we should learn: “I am quite content with my weaknesses… For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Maybe in God’s economy, Weakness=Strength & Limitations=Power.

Why I'm Still Alive

The last 36 months have been very difficult for me. I am only writing about this now because I have lately I have been moving from the wilderness to the ocean-side; from the bitter place to the better place. The sunset has completed, and now the sunrise is again upon me.

But when I went through a difficult place, starting about 18 months ago, I was surprised by how many of those who had been my friends walked out and left me all alone to face the storm. Now before one thinks that this piece is a “ode to self-pity”, please understand that for the most part, I realize I caused my own storm. Through my own wrong choices, I understand that I summoned the sunset; I hailed the hurricane; I called for the cyclone; I invoked my own personal wilderness. I get that. But what I did not expect was that people who had been so close to me; people who had communicated their love and friendship again and again would so suddenly and completely walk away.

So, I ended up in a place of great despair. Having so easily dismantled the life I had built by my own poor choices, and having so quickly lost what I thought were “friendships for life”, the despair crept in almost overwhelmingly. Life began to lose its meaning and value, and the prospect of another 70 years “like this” seemed to be more than I could bear. Ending my own life; suicide, became my sole waking thought. To me, it seemed a sort of self-euthanasia to relieve myself and others of the burden of having to deal with me. Many times, I came close to ending what little life I had.

Then softly and gently, like a whisper heard in the midst of the din of hustle and bustle of life, people began to come into my life and invade my space with their warmth & kindness. At first, I was very skeptical and almost aloof from them, because I expected that their outreach to me had an ulterior motive or an agenda to end at a certain point. But through their consistency, their care, and their courage, they made the point that to them, I was worth something and worth fighting for. I can honestly say that because of these 8-10 people, I am still alive. Without them, I could not see my worth and would have never been able to navigate out of the black hole I was in.

The good news is that I am out of the black hole now. And I came out, not just because of an instinct to survive, but because of the instinct of these friends to reach out and touch someone who desperately needed it.

Here are a few things I have learned, and these things I intend to apply in my friendships and interactions with people:

1) - The Love & Loyalty Of A Friend Helps You Remember Your Own Worth – Gail Sheehy said that, “By listening, by caring, by playing you back to yourself, friends ratify your better instincts and endorse your unique worth. Friends validate you.” How many of us need validation. I know that when I lost everything: career, finances, relationships and acquaintances, I also lost my sense of personal worth and value. I felt like I was nothing, had nothing, and was about to accomplish… nothing. Then along came my friends who saw the good in me, however obscure and hidden, and they reminded me of my intrinsic worth and value. Every human being, no matter who they are or where they have been, has worth and value. Jesus, the founder of the Christian religion, of which I am a part, was especially strong about this. No matter what a person had done or where they had been, he expressed and communicated value and worth. Think with me of the mobster Matthew, who became a disciple, or the prostitute Mary Magdalene, who became a saint, or the extortionist Zaccheus, who became an honored friend, or the back-strabber Peter who became a Rock upon which the early church was founded. Need I go on? Isaiah, in writing about Jesus, in chapter 42, commented that, “A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench…” Another translation of this same passage makes it even clearer: “He will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope…” How many weak and wounded and fallen people have been crushed in church, their tiny hopes and dreams quenched under the relentless glare of modern-day Pharisees who know better than everyone else? I shudder to think of the karma/judgment/sowing and reaping that awaits those like this…
John Powell said that, “Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection.” If we actually want people to grow, we must love and accept them. I resolve to do this in my own relationships.

2) - The Love & Loyalty Of A Friend Helps You Remember What Is Worth Living For – When I initially lost my friendships, I forgot about what in my life was worth living for. My family, my life mission, and my personal identity were all veiled under the pain of my loneliness and despair. I could see nothing of value and worth in my life to live for. But, the light of the acceptance of my friends shined a light not only on my personal value, but on the things in my life worth living for. My family became important again, my life mission to love God and love people, and my personal identity again could come to the surface. Helen Keller said this: “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” How true this is! It is my resolution to expose, not only the worth and value of human beings, but what is worthwhile and valuable in their lives so they can live for that!

3) - The Love & Loyalty Of A Friend Helps You Remember The Worth Of Others - You know what? When I do not see my own worth, how can I see the worth of others? There is wisdom in the saying that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves, because it helps us to see that if many of us loved those around us as we love ourselves, we would not have many loved people around us! When you see your worth, you can see the worth of others, and seeing THAT, you can truly salve their wounds, nurture their identity, strengthen their personal boundaries, and expose their potential. I resolve to do this because there is no greater legacy truth that the fact that I make a living from what I get, but a I life from what I give…

Naked And Not In Shame

Naked And Not In Shame

We have all had those moments…
When someone walked in on us…
When we thought we forgot to close the blinds…
When we wonder…. did I remember to lock the door?…

It is un-nerving. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Scary.

Those moments when we hoped that another had not seen our naked-ness. Those moments when we hoped another had not seen past the veil of our covering and clothing to that which is private, that which is protected, that which is intensely personal.

The word naked literally means, “wearing no clothes, lacking covering, not concealed”. It speaks to transparency, being exposed, uncovered, un-adorned. We wear clothes because of the innate desire we all have to cover, to protect and shield that which is private. So we should.

See, our society, and especially the church, is not very kind to naked-ness. Of course, we are not speaking of nakedness in the literal sense, but in the sense of seeing things as they really are. Politicians learn the craft of “double-speak”, and have professional handlers who tell them what to say and when to say it. Business leaders are trained not to speak the truth, but that which will help the stock price and investors confident. Even pro sports teams don’t talk about the actual, but the “hoped for” and “potential”, in the interests of securing fan loyalty and cash.

In the church, the problem is that often we believe that if a person dresses up on Sunday morning, and looks well put together, that their life is also well put together. We put a lot of effort into how we look for Sunday morning, and the un-spoken assumption is that we are all putting as much effort into our private life, our personal world, that which people do not see. So, when the personal and the private comes out and gets un-covered, and it is less than exemplary, we are in shock and awe. We often react with harsh criticism and judgment. We forget that the clothes don’t make the man….that every person who comes to church and life is not perfect and needs to be loved and cared for. As Joyce Meyer has said again and again, “He convicts and convinces me, but NEVER, NEVER will He condemn me.”

I believe God wants to bring us to a place where we are naked and not ashamed. Genesis 2:25 talks about the first people on earth, in the ideal world God had created for them. It says this: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. Tired of the fake, weary of the cosmetic, exhausted by the counterfeit. I am tired of the games people play in churches where we treat the ones who do not open up about their weakness and sin with honor, just because we don’t know their issues, and treat the ones who do open up about their weakness and wounded-ness and broken-ness and even sin with dishonor and condemnation. Sometimes we even treat them with anger, as if those responses will heal the wounds and cleanse the dirty.

What does God Himself say? What does the Bible speak of? Well, Hebrews 4:13-16 tells us that God already knows all of our issues, so just go to Him without fear, without shame, and without apprehension:
“And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked
and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account… Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

We have all failed, and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). This blog will be an attempt to present a real faith; an authentic Christianity where we do not try to present ourselves as whole and perfect, or try to cover up our flaws and failings, and but naked and not ashamed. I want to talk about real people, real issues, real life. Because God has an answer for the real! He does not need us to hide behind the plastic.

And, He can handle it. This may come as a surprise to those believers raised in a sheltered and cocooned environment, protected from the real world, but God can handle our sin and pain and wounds and dysfunction. He saw our sin…saw our shame…saw our pain…saw our wounds…saw our dysfunction… and STILL made the choice to love, value and save us. Actually, Romans 5 tells us this:
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, no one is likely to die for a good person, though someone might be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us...”

So, we can be naked and not ashamed before Him, and before one another. I hope this blog will be of some help to you.